alfie

illustration used with permission, from a study by furdegree

okay, i don’t own a dog and i have not done so as an adult, but my family had a dog when i was a girl, a german shepherd mix called Alfie.

so, long before any of my abuse or the confusion caused by it, when i was about twelve, i experimented with Alfie, alone in my room, usually when no one was home. this proves that i was a sexual experimenter before i was ever traumatized or exploited, a point which is of great importance to me these days.

basically, my only successful experiments with Alfie involved peanut butter and a lot of licking, but i did try to get him to mount me, and at one point we actually achieved a penetrative thrust or two, which meant in my mind that he had fucked me, which made me a dogfucker, which led to a certain way of thinking about myself.

i didn’t know what sex really was… i thought i had done it, even though Alfie only entered me briefly once or twice, and had not broken my hymen. but a penis had entered my vagina, which meant to me at the time that i was no longer a virgin.

and the more successful experiments, involving quite a bit of peanut butter on and in my pussy, and Alfie really digging in to get it all, obsessively and at length… these experiments were what led to my first orgasms. i ended up repeating these experiments with some frequency! but not all that often, because i had a big family and was too nervous to risk getting caught, so the degree of privacy i needed was hard to come by. i had never heard the word “cunnilingus” and i didn’t know that men liked to lick women’s vaginas, so i thought i had made the whole thing up myself!

——————–

but my fantasies later tended to revolve around the humiliation aspect of being a dogfucker, and degradation became the most important component of the thrill. i had overheard my brothers laughing about how men would hire a whore to fuck a dog at a bachelor party, and i started fantasizing about being that whore.

since my brothers seemed to think the whole idea was hilarious and sick and gross, and since they seemed to think that the whore involved was extremely disgusting for taking on such a job, i began to think that i was particularly disgusting also, since i happened to be a person who enjoyed having my dog fuck me, and i really enjoyed having Alfie lick my vagina, since at least at first this was the only way i knew how to have an orgasm. i didn’t know what an orgasm was at the time, but i knew that i not only liked, but i felt i actually needed, to have that feeling, and to have it repeatedly, whenever i got the chance. i knew it was sinful, of course, but it wasn’t until i heard my older brothers say that being fucked by a dog was “sick” and “disgusting” that i realized i was doing something that went beyond, say, letting a room full of strange men fuck me at a bachelor party!

so it was not until then that i began to self-identify as being truly sick and gross, and the term dogfucker that my brothers used so contemptuously became secretly very personal to me. i still needed Alfie to cum, and these irresistible urges were turning out to be more than sinful, rather they were degrading beyond any level of mere whoredom.

i was coming to realize i was in a special category by myself, and my secret pleasures were shameful beyond all ordinary measures. they were the kind of feelings my brothers could barely speak of without throwing in epithets like “dirty skank” and “sewer slut”, and without making some noise to express their extreme level of distaste. they frequently spoke of whores as being “hot” or having desirable physical characteristics like having “a juicy ass”, but whenever the dog-fucking-bachelor-party whore came up, they would never use words with any positive connotations to describe her.

dogfuckers (like me) were too dirty to speak of without indicating a need to vomit, perhaps, or at least to “slap some sense into that bitch”.

so my fantasies revolved around me being the woman at the bachelor party, naked, and being forced to let the dog fuck me in front of everyone while they laughed at me, spit on me, slapped me, and called me names.

in my fantasies they would film me doing this, and often i would have to identify myself to the camera, by saying my name and what school i went to, before doing a strip tease and then getting down on all fours and letting the dog fuck me. and now, in fantasy at least, i would be fucked into oblivion, always having those strange and amazing feelings surge through me, and always being unable to restrain myself from indicating my pleasure vocally, and verbally… i would imagine saying things out loud like, “yes, fuck my whore pussy” or “oh yeah make me your bitch!” and i would moan and wimper, right in front of the conservatively dressed men, and in front of their cameras.

——————–

these days i usually imagine myself being raped by multiple dogs.

also i imagine being kept in a kennel with them, and treated as if i were one of the dogs too.

in these scenarios, i would be whipped for being a bad dog, and i would be “walked” on the city streets like a dog, wearing a collar and leash and having to lift my leg to pee on fire hydrants and the like, always under the unsympathetic gaze of shocked bystanders.

but being soaked in the urine of a female dog in heat, and then being fucked by the whole kennel, especially in front of well-dressed adult men who are laughing at me and thinking of me as utterly subhuman… this is really my most intoxicating sexual fantasy these days…

at least for the moment!❤️