bad porn
to be clear, i don’t feel it’s “bad” to look at porn, it’s just that i’m a lady too, and as such i identify more with the girl in the photo and less with the photographer looking at the girl. so when i suspect that this is not a sexual experience for the girl, and just for the onlookers, i may be more aware of what is missing than what is not.
even if she can take it, and she’s not being “damaged” by the experience, and she’s probably being paid good money… i still can’t get around the idea that if she’s not wanting it, then i’m not really looking at sex, i’m looking at someone doing a job.
sometimes i can tell that the girl is really into it. i feel i can be sure because of her facial expressions and body language: she is either the best actress who ever lived or she’s into it.
but in the porn i gravitate towards – hard s&m stuff – it is typically hard to tell. that’s not anybody’s fault, it’s a condition of the genre.
to avoid this quandary i tend to go for stories and drawings rather than vids and photos. i don’t care if the story or drawing is realistic or not, i know it’s a fantasy, and somehow, the more sick or fucked up the artists fantasies are, the more communicatively rendered the stories and drawings tend to be… but perhaps that’s subjective.
be that as it may, when i look at the art of say Zerns or Beovulff, i never think, “is she into this or not?” i just think, “what if this crazy artist got their hands on me?”
and that’s right where i want to be when i’m touching myself.
13 responses to “bad porn”
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I have a similar issue – as a man, I’ve been close with sex workers as friends for a long time, so I know through their eyes the “it’s a job” aspect, so I’m always looking at their eyes to see how into it they at are in porn vids. They have to be real freaks or amazing actresses to turn me on.
But taking you, and branding you, or hanging you up by your hair, or ripping your cunt clean off, I know you’ll be panting and aching for more in that fantasy art, I love it. You’re one in maybe a billion, I know you have no limits, and that really stretches my imagination!LikeLike
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The way you describe a woman just doing a job rather than having a thrilling, fulfilling experience is profound. Maybe that’s what can cause some “soulless” porn. I would argue that porn is also art, and a lot of it is “soulless,” not just because of bad acting or poor plot, but because the ladies aren’t experiencing true joy.
A lot of the behind the scenes of porn tends to reveal it is not as glamorous as one might think think. And I think you’ve just condensed it into that one idea.
That’s not to say there isn’t soulful porn out there, but probably less than one might think. For a lot of people, they’re just looking to get their rocks off so they don’t put a lot of thought into it. But for you, it’s the difference between enjoying yourself, or taking yourself out of the experience when you view it.
I think that especially with “tougher” subject matters, it is a boon that artists and authors can describe and depict those fucked up fantasies in a safe manner. But I like how you imagine yourself in the clutches of a deranged artist. I’d imagine the safe space of having a fantasy allows one to experience everything vicariously, with none of the negative side effects.
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I have a similar problem with a lot of porn, having been friends with various sexworkers for a long time, I’m always watching the girls’ eyes to see if they’re into it (though I can appreciate it if they happen to just be really good actors).
But making art of you, I know I can brand you, set you up with a dog, piss on you, or even tear your cunt clean off and I know you’ll love it! You’re such fun to use…
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oh yeah, also, furdegree…
i wanted to mention that the way you paint women brings their humanity to the immediate foreground. one can see clearly whether these women are into it, and often there is a sense of why they are into it as well. it’s all there in their eyes and body language, and in your expressive moves as a painter. and sometimes the women make me sad, but sometimes they are very gleeful and light-hearted. there is no doubt that their relationship with sex work or with self-exposure is complex, and that the impulses and predilections that drive women to model or expose themselves publicly is deeply personal and highly varied. your work as a painter has inspired to take my work as a writer more seriously, and i very much appreciate you for that.
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I never thought I’d be that into your style of writing, but getting a peek into your delightfully perverted mind is very inspirational – and freeing! I’m pretty sure that whatever I do it won’t touch the sides of your mental pit of depravity. My only question is whether I want to show anyone else but you – but of course I do 😂
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You are doing a wonderous job with your blog friend, and I am thoroughly enjoying learning more about you, and in turn more about myself.
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Im thoroughly enjoying your page and learning more about you, and in turn more about myself.
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_Steak_
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Im thoroughly enjoying your page, in learning you and in turn, learning more about myself.
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january josephine 
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